BIRDLAND JOURNAL

Celebrating Northern California Voices

A Hot Girl with a Bad Attitude by Leah Browning

It was the last night of the convention. Nearby, three young men dressed as the Tenth Doctor were having a conversation as another Tenth Doctor walked past.

She came striding down the hallway alongside the hotel ballroom, wearing tight jeans and holding a walkie-talkie. She was barking orders at a guy trotting along behind her. “I said to have them stay twelve feet back,” she said, pointing at all of us. “Does this look like twelve feet?”

Everyone shrank a little. She was your mother, turning on you in a crowded shopping mall; the teacher leaning over your desk with a ruler and a cruel expression.

No mercy.

We were waiting in line—sitting on the floor, leaning against the walls. We were waiting where we had been told.

In the corridor appeared sinister little twin girls in the costumes of the Sisters of Plenitude: flowing white habits; white cornettes, starched and winglike, concealing the hair; their faces made up to look like cats. They marched toward us.

Blink, though. Where are you?

The twins walk past. Up close, under the nuns’ habits, they are young girls again, accompanied by their mother. They preen and pose for photos.  

The hot girl snaps at her assistant and storms off in the opposite direction. He struggles to keep up with her.   

Your girlfriend emerges from the crowd, carrying two Starbucks cups. She’s wearing a long, ornate Victorian gown and moving slowly. In ordinary life, she wears a lab coat and spends the day looking at slides under a microscope. What is real, then? What is fake?  

Outside, it is dark already. The wind was so strong this morning, on the way to the hotel, that a woman’s wig blew off as she walked down the sidewalk.

Your companion hands you a hot chocolate. The whipped cream is melting under the lid.

Slowly, the crowd starts to move toward the entrance to the ballroom. It is almost time for the performance. She takes your arm, and together you look for two open seats.  

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Leah Browning is the author of three short nonfiction books and six chapbooks. Her most recent chapbook is Orchard City, published by Hyacinth Girl Press in 2017. Browning’s fiction and poetry have recently appeared in numerous journals, including The Forge Literary Magazine, The Threepenny Review and Valparaiso Fiction Review. Her work has also been published in The Poetry Storehouse and in anthologies including Nothing to Declare: A Guide to the Flash Sequence from White Pine Press.

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